Paternal Bond Could Come Slowly for Some Dads

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Fathers Who Feel Disconnected From Kids Need Not Panic, Psychological Experts Say

When Henry, who preferred that his real name not be used, became a father two years ago, he was confronted with a feeling in the hospital for which he was completely unprepared -- indifference.

PHOTO Some new fathers find it difficult to form a quick emotional connection with newborn children.
Some new fathers find it difficult to form a quick emotional connection with newborn children.
(John Henley/Getty Images)

"In the hospital, I just wasn't connecting," he said. "I could have taken it or left it... It wasn't for eight or nine months before I connected."

It was a feeling that Henry, who lives in Boston, would experience again with the birth of his second child.

"[My wife's] family, from the first day, was lavishing hugs and kisses on the new baby," he recalled. "I just wasn't feeling it.

"After I had my first child and didn't have these feelings, I was like, 'What's going on? Am I a sociopath?'"

For Henry, as with many new fathers, the feeling of indifference eventually passed. By the time his second child was born, he said, he "was head over heels with the first kid" and "almost felt disloyal to baby number one for connecting with baby number two."

Today, he said, he loves his children deeply and has developed a strong emotional attachment to both. Read more...

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